Binging Happens

Sooooooo I had an awful night. And a great night. But really, an awful night.

I came home from work, rarin' to work out hard. I went directly to the gym and spent over an hour lifting weights and walking/running on the treadmill. I was a rockstar. I ran a mile, and I probably could have done more. I went through my usual lifting routine, even including abs. I was unstoppable. At the end of it all, I had burned over 500 calories, and I felt amazing.

I then made the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad decision to go to Woodmans and reward myself with a bottle of Smirnoff Vanilla Vodka & Diet A&W Root Beer. For those who have not tried this mixed drink, DON'T. It's ridiculously good, tastes just like a root beer float, and you will drink a lot more than you set out to do.

Hubby went to play video games at a friend's house (because he's 10 years old, developmentally), so I had the couch & TV to myself, which meant chick flicks! I watched Bad Girls, had a couple of drinks, and decided to just "not eat" for dinner, since I was consuming calories through my drinking. Ha. You can all imagine how that turned out...About two hours later, I awoke from my food coma (cheese, crackers, chips, dip, egg rolls, mac & cheese to name a few), absolutely horrified that I had allowed all that to happen.

I know my process though. I have it down to an art, and I can pretty much guarantee that a binge will happen if there are two things present (or not present): Husband needs to be gone & alcohol needs to be available. You put those two things together, and bad decisions abound. Does this honestly mean I can't be left alone? SERIOUSLY? I'm like a five-year-old girl with a sweet tooth - just leave me alone in the kitchen, slightly buzzed, and I'll eat you under the table.

I need to break free of this. I need to make extremely better decisions. Or this see-saw of weight loss will be my life. Forever. Drunk me sucks. And drunk me HATES losing weight - she would rather gain a hundred pounds than give up her favorite foods. Sober me needs to shut drunk me up. I can only do that if I keep away from the alcohol, which I think is a wonderful, amazing, awesome idea that I can only hope to God I can actually do.

So let's all pray to God this weekend that I can conquer drunk me. I have to say it's not looking good, with the Packer game on Sunday....

See you Monday!