Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Brainstorm

Oh man. Oh goodness. GOSH DARNIT, ERIN.

Why can't you get your act together? What is preventing you from making the right decisions to lose the weight that you dreadfully hate? Why? Why? WHY?!?!?

I'm going to brainstorm here, and it may hit the nail on the head, and it may not. But I have to try to figure this shit out before I'm pulling out my fat clothes again...

-I like alcohol
-good food makes my day
-I lead a sedentary life
-I'm not comfortable with other people, therefore I avoid group classes
-I hate my job
-all social gatherings I partake in revolve around food and/or drinks
-I've gained & lost the same five pounds for almost a year. I'm tired.
-I hate exercising
-Why lose weight if I'm having a baby in the next year, two years, three years?

It makes me sad. I don't like thinking about my goals or food or my failures. But I think about it, because being fat makes me sad too. What is my true motivation? To look better in jeans? That's not enough anymore. I need to find out what's going to personally motivate me, and combat all the above listed items with all my might. I'll get back to you on that.


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